I have been unable to post for a while due to some kinda fritz attack in the blog. I have been trying to post a contribution from Cameron who contacted me after reading about some of the challenges my husband and I have faced with his kidney cancer. But the clincher comes from knowing that Jeff's sister is a Mesothelioma survivor - and only recently so.
Thus, for us too Cameron's blog has some wonderful insights into those moments of the cancer journey that affect the person with cancer, but just as importantly the person providing the support.
Read the short piece below and then please visit his blog (link at the end of the story) and admire his commitment not just to Heather his wife but their joint commitment to the greater good.... and all at a time when it is so easy to just close ranks and wallow.
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A
Time as a Caregiver Led to New Discoveries
I
never thought I would be a caregiver until I sat with my wife Heather
across the desk from our doctor as he gave us the news that my wife
had malignant pleural
mesothelioma.
It was November 21, 2005 when the doctor informed us about the
disease and Heather’s diagnosis. We knew we had to do
something quickly to make sure Heather had every chance at recovery.
Prior to getting this news, we were enjoying being new parents to our
three-month-old daughter, Lily. All of the joy and excitement we had
experienced as new parents was ripped away when we learned that
Lily’s mother would soon be fighting for her life.
When a person must adapt the role as a caregiver for a loved one, it is a process to adjust to this new role. I knew right away that I would be my wife’s caregiver because I wanted to be sure she got the best possible care. One of the first things I did as Heather’s caregiver was to make travel arrangements to get her to Boston to see a seasoned mesothelioma specialist. This person had a great reputation and it was important to us that Heather had access to the best care and the most experienced medical professionals. I had to believe that if anyone could help my wife, it would be Dr. Sugarbaker in Boston.
Learning how to live life as a caregiver, while still taking care of family and financial obligations, is a huge chore. I cannot imagine how we made it through those years of trial when Heather was sick; but I do know that we were so blessed by the support we received. Family and friends stepped up and provided assistance in countless ways. They made it possible for me to spend as much time as possible supporting Heather. If I had one piece of advice to give other caregivers in a similar role, it would be to accept every offer of help you receive. Even the smallest offer of help can be a weight off your shoulders, and at the very least will remind you that you are not alone in the fight.
Being
a caregiver was the hardest job I’ve ever had, and if you ever find
yourself in this role it will undoubtedly be just that for you as
well. Allow yourself to have bad days, this is natural and
inevitable. The important thing is to never, ever give up hope, even
in those dark moments. Use every resource at your disposal, and
always keep fighting for the one you love.
Now, over seven years since her heartbreaking mesothelioma diagnosis, Heather remains healthy and cancer free. After months of treatment, she was able to defy the odds and beat this terrible disease. Throughout the time of being the person who consistently took care of her while still shouldering other responsibilities, I discovered a lot about what I can handle when the going gets rough. Being a caregiver was the toughest challenge I’ve ever been faced with, but it was also the most rewarding. Now, I’m glad to be able to share my story, in the hopes that it may inspire others in a similar situation to never give up, and always hold onto hope.
Cameron Von St. James
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Please visit Cameron at http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/
thank you for choosing me Cameron.
M
