I'm so tired I'm watching cricket.....

because the remote is too far away.  And by that  I mean I would have to actually stand up to get it.

I'm so tired that scratching my ass involves a hike to the kitchen to get a wooden spoon so I can reach around - reach being the operative word- even though....

I'm so tired I can't be bothered scratching my ass.

I'm so tired that I buzzed a staff member on the intercom to go and check my pigeonhole for the number of the last invoice I paid coz....

I'm so tired I forgot what it was.

I'm so tired that a walk around my garden involves stepping out onto the veranda and turning my head left and then right.

I'm so tired that today I didn't use the 'f' word even once - I just couldn't be bothered working up enough 'care' factor to say it because.....

I'm so tired.


But there is one good thing about being so tired - you sure do see things differently.  It is a whole thing about asking one's self  "does this really need to be done"?

And the answer is "No, self, it does not really need to be done". 

Now I live with pain as part of my existence these days and I can still push through it.  But yesterday I was floored by a bout of vertigo - not my first and for sure not my last- and I gotta tell you that when you are sitting at the steering wheel of a 6-cylinder company car YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET VERTIGO!

Yet I did.  The only saving grace was that I was just back from a meeting and trying to reverse the car into the carpark.  I so wish someone had taken a picture of it.  Little Miss Perfect left it at a 45 degree angle across two bays and a ramp.  I left it with the door open and my head hanging out as I barfed up every meal I ever ate in my whole life while the world reversed both its axes and laughed at me.  Fortunately for them - the 3 staff who were standing a few feet away enjoying a 'death stick' on company time - didn't laugh.  They just ran.

Why did I get vertigo?  Stress, weariness, stress, tiredness, stress and creeping infirmity.  Why did I get vertigo?  Because I just don't know when to quit.

I have been back at work for 5 weeks.  I have worked about 50 hours each week.  I am dried up and empty already.  I miss being home, I miss blogging, I miss not dealing with other people's personal baggage - I have enough of my own.  I miss my garden, I miss my friends.  I miss my kitchen and my chair and my laptop and my morning coffee.  I miss finishing the puzzles in the paper each morning.  I miss not having 6 meetings in a day.  I miss the quiet.

So if anyone was wondering - or had even noticed - why I am not blogging so much these days, read the whole blog not just the punch line at the end.

I just have to pull my shit together.  Especially since I just noticed that I have 2 more followers all of a sudden.  Thank you to them for for joining and thank you to the rest of you for keeping the 'view' meter ticking over even when I am not blogging anything interesting.

I am going to reorganise my head and my life.  Work sucks and so I have decided I don't want it anymore. 


Ok so I will by 10 Tatts tickets this weekend and cross fingers and toes......

In the meantime I am going to ...awww crap... I'm to tired!