the Lost Spirit of Christmas

What follows below is a tirade following something I read in a blog that I actually love.  The author of that blog is a fantastic writer, witty, quick and sharp.  I feel that he is a great guy and lived a lot of life even though I never met him and never will.


A few days before Christmas as I eagerly clicked the link to read his latest contribution to the Blog world I sipped my coffee  and settled into my chair.  AP's blog is one to be savoured and I usually need 2-3 reads to catch every little nuance of his work.  Clever, clever man and very very funny.


But within the first few lines  I found an irritation to me personally.  I told myself to ignore it as this sort of stuff is said all the time and I should be used to it.


I read the blog entry twice and then, as is my routine, I started to read the comments.  One of the early comments stopped me in my tracks.  Why?  I don't know. I am made of sterner stuff.  I tried to ignore it and kept reading.   But like a moth to flame I just kept going  back.  It was a short and simple statement, but it infuriated me with its ignorance and its reckless insensibility.


I drafted two comments in reply and deleted them both.  I said some nice things re xmas and exited.  Then I came here to my own blog and dumped all my rage into what follows below.  I have re-read it now with the aim of editing and softening it.  But I decided not to.


So, here it is, raw, angry and unedited.

I'm a very sad today.  Sat down to enjoy reading my favourite blogs as well as the favourites of my favourites - easier that way.

Was so looking forward to reading good thoughts and feelings at this time of the year when you would expect everyone to stop and reflect on life and living.

But I stopped reading when a post and especially one of its comments really upset me, even hurt me.

Why is it that Christmas brings out the worst in the very people who claim to be religious?  What happens to all the commandments and all the so called love thy neighbour stuff that is supposedly part and parcel of subscribing to some religious belief system?  It seems to go out the window faster than heat in winter.

All of a sudden some ( I say some) part-time adherents remember they have a faith, bash those who do not, drink and binge their way through the holiday period, go to church, say sorry and actually believe they are better than everyone else.

This really pisses me off.  REALLY.

What upset me so much?  Well first the blogger made derogatory off-hand references to Atheists and then one of his reader wrote "I hate atheists".

Really?  She hates Atheists?  I mean REALLY?  Is that the worst kind of person in the world today?  TRULY?????  I was so incensed that this woman while pretending to be spiritual would say the word HATE at a time of the year when you should be talking about love.  Who the fuck does she think she is?  

If I ever said something derogatory about religious people I would be universally condemned for it.  But why is it OK to be a holier-than-thou Christian or Catholic or whatever?  Where is the humility?  Where is the goodness of a Kat of http://myviewthroughkateyes.blogspot.com/ - who is deeply devout yet good and kind and tolerant of all.  Why are there not more like her who are strong in their conviction and proud of it without being elitist and rude.

I happen to be an atheist.  I can't help it. It's just that no one has been able to convince me to be otherwise. I have tried to find faith a number of times.  Didn't work.  In some ways I am envious of people who have a faith - it seems to soothe the sincere ones, although it is also a 'get out of jail free card' for the rest.  There have been many times in my life that I needed some succour, but in the end I could only rely on my own resources.  That doesn't make me bad.  Doesn't make me evil.  It makes me honest.  It shows integrity that I have the courage to say that I am not convinced there is a God.  But I am respectful at all times to those who are sincere in their faith.  Being 'atheist' means I am without God, yes, but it also means that I do not know.  There may be a God, but there may also NOT be a God.  To my empirical mind no one has proved either way.  I have not found God therefore I am without Him.  Some might say this makes me and Agnostic - agnostics admit they do not know.  I still call myself an Atheist, however,  because I am convinced that there is no God of any kind but I am rational enough to know that there is so much we mere mortals still do not know. It is unlikely I will EVER find faith.  BUT!! I am a good person.  I am a better person than almost all the religious people I have known in my own life and acquaintance.

I have worked every Christmas for 23 years so my staff can have the time off - it seemed a big deal to them and I respected that.  I have never killed anyone or stolen anything.  I have been a good and decent human being and have respected every religion and belief system in the world. I have worked my butt off and offered help as much as possible. I read everything, keep an open mind and try not to judge people. 

I have made mistakes... plenty of them... but I have repented not out of fear of divine retribution.  I have repented because I know the difference between right and wrong and I have the personal humility to admit my errors and learn from them.  I have never, ever bowed to the hypocricy of weekend and holiday zealots who spend the rest of the year breaking every commandment they can.  

 

I read a good many more blogs than I follow.  So, I will stop reading blogs for the next 10 days as I want to do for my family and friends the same things the sincere believers do - love them, care for them, cook for them and laugh and enjoy them.  I want to do those things without being poisoned by the narrow-minded cheap shots of people who don't really understant the true meaning of faith.  Ok so I might read Kat's blog and a few others who I know have a big heart and will somehow make me feel their warmth.  But I will avoid some of the others. 

To say that you 'hate' someone because of what they do or do not  believe is the very reason we are at war with so much of the world

So here is the thing.  IF there is a God, and IF he is truly beneficent, why would he welcome the bigots, criminals and hypocrites just because they say sorry.  Why wouldn't he want all the best people up there with him.  People like Kat and Kim and, yes, me.  People who are honest about who and what they are.  People who do Good Deeds because they want to and know it is right to do so.  Why would he want the fakers up there lying to Him to His face.

Seriously guys I need to know the answer to this.  Because, if God really is that stupid then I don't want to go to heaven if it is there.  But I know this, if there is a God and I am wrong, I would be happy to lay my life's work down before Him and weigh up against the 'atheist haters' anytime anywhere... and I bet my life I would win.

Surely He is sick and tired of those bigots and hypocrites who only remember him when they have to or need to.  Surely He looks down on us and thinks to Him, or maybe even HER, self ... "there is Kat and Kim etc etc and there is Marlia - good ones all - there will be room for all of them.

So - to those people who casually add flippant 'hates' into the ether I say this.  Shame on you.  I may be atheist but I am a good and decent human being.  I feel sad for you and ashamed for you.  I am also ashamed OF you as members of the human race.  AND I remind you that this sort of attitude is rampant in the middle east.  Hatred and intolerance begins at home and no true and benevolent God would ever condone it.

I hope they all enjoyed their Christmases.  I know I did - I was with my family and was surrounded by love.  How bad can I  be?

And so - to all the 'atheist haters' out there I say this - I forgive you.  You don't know any better because this is how you were raised.  It is a crying shame though that you cannot see your own hypocrisy and think for yourselves.  And it is a huge shame that you cannot comprehend how behaving in this way diminishes you and your religion to the rest of us.

To the true believers, with love and tolerance in their hearts, I say thank god for you!  I cannot feel what you feel but I can certainly comprehend it, in some ways envy it and will always respect it.

I hope you all have a good Christmas and a safe and happy New Year.

I am still mad though.