Have you ever felt soooooooooo tired that you could hardly hold your head upright or your eyes open?  Do you know that tiredness when you sit in the car at the traffic lights and you just want to put your head down and sleep.... that horrible feeling that you don't know how you got to this point and you don't know how you are going to get to the end?


I feel that tiredness right now.  My body aches, my head is fuzzy, my joints are burning, my fingers don't want to work properly and I spend more time punching the backspace than I do typing words.


How can you feel like that, with pain reverberating at every step, and still feel happy?


This sort of tiredness and pain is part of my life.  It is there from the moment I get up to the moment I pass out back in my bed.


Why am I telling you this?  I am telling you because I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very very tired of putting on a brave face for the world and being cheery and acting as if there is nothing wrong with me.


And the real reason I am telling you this?  Because I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of people with so much less to moan about moaning about everything.


I'm not talking about money, or houses or cars.  I am talking about health, strength, stamina and fitness.  None of which I have in significant quantities any more.  But I do not go about my day moping and whining.... I try to be constructive and productive.  Sometimes I cannot push myself any further and I just have to stop.


So, to the lady sitting at the service desk in the hardware store, who watched me approach limping and who made me stand for a good 5 minutes while she was on the phone ON A PERSONAL CALL and who ultimately answered my question with an "I don't know" and then made we walk the length of the store in the wrong direction, I say this - God is watching luv!


So much for customer service.


Now for some meditation in the garden under the crab apple tree that is buzzing with bees - ahhhhhh sweet life everchanging......

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