D-day looms.....

With 5 days to go till Driver's licence test day for son who does not yet have a driver's licence, my life took a nice but sad turn today.  I spent the morning with son who does not yet have a driver's licence at the shopping centre taking the last few steps towards making him an independent adult.  First to Medicare and Medibank to get his own cards issued.  Next came the Post office and an application for a Tax file number for when he gets a job once exams are done.  Then to the bank where all his accounts were handed over including the trust account.  Finally a trip to the hairdresser where all the blonde shaggy locks were literally shorn off with a #2 blade


Driving home I looked at him in profile as he drove us oh so competently.  I could see his whole face, usually obsured by that mop of hair now bundled forlornly in the bin back at the salon.  I saw the fuzz on his chin. I saw the tell tale indentation in his skull from where the strawberry mark had been when he was born.  The mark faded but the indentation it left is still there ever so slight but known to his mother.  I heard him talking to my husband about things I actually didn't understand - 'computer shit' I was told.


My heart was so full of love for this boy.  My stomach was so full of relief that I didn't screw this one up too much. And my arms felt a bit empty for a moment. Not that I won't get to hold him anymore...but I guess not in the way I used to as his sole support and protector.  I remember this transition with my daughter who is now 29.  That bitter sweetness of letting them fly from your grasp willingly.


I am happy and proud.  I have only minor trepidation because I know I have done my best.  But oh boy that sense of sadness when I realised this was the last one and now I am free to pursue my own interests again.  It has been 30 years since I discovered I was first pregnant.  I can't fathom where the time went.  But I remember the many many times I would calculate the number of years before I was free again.  Now, that time is upon me.  Next Wednesday my boy should be able to drive himself anywhere.  He won't be saying 'can you take me..?', 'can you pick me up from...?'. 
Whatever will I do with my time? 


Well at least he is still at home and only 18, so I will still get to spend time with him and maybe HE can drive ME to places for a change.

It was a glorious, wonderful day..........